As you all know, my niece, Beth is living with us now. She has been with for three nights so far and has wet the bed on two of them. I have been looking for suggestion on how to deal with it, and I just wanted to start by thanking everyone for the wonderful emails.
Let me share some with you. The first is from a nice woman named Mirah, from San Diego.
Hello Veronica,
I am sorry to hear about the issues you are having with your niece, Beth, and her bedwetting. I had a similar situation some years ago, when my fourteen year old niece, Renee came to visit me and my daughter Amy. My daughter Amy, was five at the time, and still in diapers full time, since I did not feel that she was ready for potty training, a view that I can see we both share. Well, when Renee first came to visit, her mother had already warned me about her bedwetting. I wanted to let her prove her maturity to me. Her first night there, I did exactly what you did, I waited in her room while she showered, with a diaper and changing supplies, and gave her a choice. I offered her the diaper at night, to keep her bed dry and let her sleep soundly. She would only have to wear them at night. She asked what her other option was, too embarrassed to wear a diaper to bed. I told her that she was more than welcome to go to bed without a diaper, but, if she woke up wet, I would put her back into diapers full time for the rest of her stay, and treat her like the same as Amy. I told that teenagers should not be wetting their beds at her age, and if she was going wet without taking precautions, then she must still be a baby, like her cousin.
She told me that she wasn't a baby, and felt comfortable sleeping in her panties. I told her that if that was her decision, then I would respect it. I took the diaper and left her to sleep. I went to check on her the next morning, and no surprise, she was wet. I told her to go and take a shower, and then come and find me. While she was cleaning up, I put her wet sheets in the laundry. She showed up in the laundry room, in just her towel. I took her by the hand to Amy's nursery, and straight to the changing table. I could see she was tearing up a bit. I told her not to think of this as a punishment, I told her that that by being a toddler again, she was getting the emotional support that she needed. I took off her towel and lifted her onto the table.
I told her "Once I get you all powdered and into a fresh diaper you can enjoy the rest of the day without worrying."
I grabbed one of Amy's diapers from her stacker and grabbed Renee's ankles and powdered and diapered her. I got her off the changing table and checked the leak guards and fit of the diaper before saying "There, Baby os in a fresh diaper and ready to enjoy her day!" I walked her to her room and dressed her for the day.
Veronica, I encourage you to make a similar offer to Beth, and if she makes the wrong choice, don't be afraid to start treating her the same as Valerie.
-Mirah
I don't know if I will go as far as putting Beth in diapers full time for refusing to wear diapers at night, while I do agree with Mirah, that children should be treated how they're acting, I feel like making an exception for now. I am going to strongly suggest that Beth wear a diaper tonight. I am also going to have her wear a diaper for the flight to Chicago on Thursday too.
As far as Beth's thumb sucking, I haven't caught her doing it yet, but as soon as I do, I'm going to insist on her using a pacifier instead.
Finally, I want to talk about Carseats. I know that its a controversial position, but I believe a child, regardless of age, should still be in a carseat as long as they still fit. Which is why, even at sixteen, Beth has been riding around in a five point harness carseat.
See y'all tomorrow!
-Veronica
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