Saturday, December 16, 2023

The World we Live In

As I sit down to write today, my mind is heavy with the concerns that I believe echo in the hearts of many parents. The news is a constant reminder of the risks that loom in everyday places, risks that our children, regardless of their age, might encounter. This reality shapes my parenting, prompting a more vigilant approach to ensuring their safety.

I often find myself wrestling with what might seem like overprotectiveness. In an era where even the simplest activities carry a shadow of risk, decisions like letting my six-year-old, Valerie, have a moment of freedom in a store, or trusting public spaces like restrooms, become complex. Every day, these typical parts of growing up are weighed against a backdrop of caution prompted by unsettling news reports.

This sense of protectiveness isn't confined to the younger ones. Even with my niece, Beth, who at 19 is stepping into adulthood, the idea of her navigating public spaces alone stirs a well of concern within me. Recent reports about child predators intensify these worries, leading me to question the safety of public restrooms and other common areas.

In seeking ways to manage these fears, I've encountered other parents and caregivers who face similar dilemmas. Some have adopted unusual measures to ensure safety and hygiene during outings, such as having older children wear diapers. While unconventional, I understand that these decisions are rooted in a deep desire to protect their children from potential dangers and unsanitary conditions.

These reflections bring me to contemplate the extent of precautions I am willing to take for my children's safety. Finding a balance between necessary protection and fostering independence is a continuous challenge, one that requires careful thought and consideration in these unpredictable times.

In navigating these challenges, I've had to consider various strategies to keep my children safe, especially when we are out and about. For Vivian and Vanessa, I mostly rely on using a stroller. It's not just a matter of convenience; it's a safety measure. The stroller keeps them contained and within my sight at all times, providing a secure and manageable way to navigate public spaces.

However, as my children grow and their need for independence emerges, I recognize that my approaches must evolve. Valerie, who is now six years old, is reaching an age where she is eager to explore a bit more on her own. Yet, the thought of letting her wander even a short distance away in a store or a park fills me with apprehension. To balance her growing need for independence with my concern for her safety, I am seriously considering the use of a toddler harness during our outings. While some may view this as overly cautious, for me, it's a practical solution that offers a compromise between safety and freedom.

This consideration isn't limited to Valerie. If Beth, my niece, were to visit again, I would likely extend the same level of cautiousness to her. Even though she is 19, the current climate of safety concerns makes me uneasy about her navigating public places alone. A toddler harness might seem unconventional for someone of her age, but in my eyes, it's a viable option to ensure her safety.

I understand that these choices might raise questions or even criticisms. The use of a stroller for older children like Vanessa, or a toddler harness for a child as old as Valerie, and even more so for Beth, is not typical. But these are not typical times. The news stories we hear every day about missing children and other dangers are a constant reminder of the world we live in. As a parent, my primary responsibility is the safety and well-being of my children, and I'm prepared to take whatever steps are necessary to protect them.

In sharing these thoughts, I hope to open a dialogue with other parents and caregivers. How do you navigate these challenges? What measures have you found effective in balancing safety with the need for your children's independence? I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences, as we all strive to find the best ways to protect our children in an increasingly unpredictable world.


On a different yet touching note, I recently had an enlightening interaction that I feel compelled to share. A kind young man with autism reached out to me through my blog. He bravely shared his personal story, including his struggles growing up as a bedwetter. His openness and vulnerability in sharing such a personal journey was both heartwarming and inspiring.

He was incredibly polite and inquisitive, asking thoughtful questions about my girls and my parenting style. It was a refreshing and genuine conversation that reminded me of the diverse experiences and challenges that people face in their lives.

What truly stood out to me was his willingness to offer support and advice. He even suggested some types of diapers that might be useful for me, considering the upcoming flights that Vinny plans to take us on. His thoughtfulness in providing practical advice, based on his own experiences, was both unexpected and appreciated.

Interactions like these are a wonderful reminder of the kindness and connection that can be found within our communities. It reinforces the value of sharing our stories and experiences, as they can resonate with and help others in ways we might not anticipate.


-Veronica